Throughout life, I’ve often felt like I had everything under control. Or at least that’s how I remember it (lucky me). Even on days when I wasn’t at my best, I believed things would get better, if only I tried a little harder. During those days, independence felt amazing. It was this confidence that if I want something, I could.
And then... there are other days. Days when nothing seems to be going “according to plan”. It's that time where independence doesn’t feel empowering at all. It feels lonely, like I’ve been left behind in a world that’s spinning faster than I can keep up.
But this chance gave me space to remember that I was never meant to do life all on my own.
As much as we glorify independence and the “I’ve got this” mindset, life actually feels gentler when we stop trying to carry it all ourselves. When we let ourselves lean. On people. On love. And ultimately, on God.
Some of my most peaceful moments didn’t come from conquering anything, but from surrendering it. And it's okay to admit that I don’t have the answers. Because I was never supposed to.
Some things changed when I stop seeing dependence as weakness and start seeing it as trust.
Trust that I’m being held. That I’m being guided. That the One who knows my heart better than I do, has already written something far better than what I keep trying to force.
There’s beauty in that. In depending. Not out of helplessness, but out of love and faith. Out of finally understanding that strength isn’t about doing it all alone but about knowing Who to turn to when you can’t.
And honestly life really does feel better that way.
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