Life is full of crossroads, and not all of them come with clear signboards. Sometimes what appears in front of me looks like a gift, but deep down I can’t help but ask: Is this really a sign of goodness, or is it a test in disguise?
…But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah knows, while you know not.
[Al-Baqarah: 216]
It doesn't feel wrong but at the same time it stir uneasiness in my chest. On some days, I feel a quiet sense of relief, like maybe this is exactly what I was meant to find. Even if it's meant to challenge what's most concerning to me. On other days, doubts creep in, whispering questions I cannot easily answer. I suppose that’s what makes the journey tricky—what feels safe in the moment might turn out to be the very thing that keeps me from growing.
I’ve come to realize that we often don’t know the true nature of something until we step back from it. We don’t know whether it was a blessing or a burden, a light or a shadow, until we let it go. And letting go doesn’t always mean losing—it can also mean allowing space for clarity to enter. From a distance, truths reveal themselves more honestly than when we are clinging too tightly.
So, I find myself caught in this fragile space: holding on just enough to see what unfolds, but also preparing my heart to let go if that’s what it takes to see things clearly. Maybe the uncertainty itself is the test, and the patience to wait is the sign.
At the end of the day, I remind myself that not everything I desire is good for me, and not everything I fear is bad for me. The difference between a blessing and a trial is sometimes hidden until time, perspective, and trust in God uncover it.
For now, I’ll keep walking with the question: is this a sign, or is it a test? And perhaps the answer lies not in rushing to decide, but in learning how to trust while I wait.
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